and awoke in the
primordial way –<\/p>
where your body knows nothing about
what it is,
leg, arm, womb,
just one pulsing aching mass of moans
uuhhmmm uuuhmmm uhhmmmm<\/p>
until you slowly slowly establish yourself,
then some surroundings,
then names, concepts,<\/p>
<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n
The first sensation is one of pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is no direction, no shape, no up or down or left or right.
The first hint of such coordinates is a feeling of pain dividing into two flanks,
alongside an elongated shape.
And then the breathing, the sound:
A moan, perhaps reminiscent of<\/p>\n\n\n\n
hhmm
om
hum<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I guess i make such a sound at this stage, but i can not tell –
this is still way before any awareness of a self, an “I”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
An elongated shape, in pain along its sides and where it rests, breathing,
yet still without limbs.
These form later, and become home to the pain,
and i can tell one from the other, label them,
and define an up and down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Later, names would come.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Much later still, when i could think again, i was pointed at this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hundun (Chinese: \u6df7\u6c8c; pinyin: H\u00f9nd\u00f9n; Wade\u2013Giles: Hun-tun; lit.: ‘muddled confusion’) is both a “legendary faceless being” in Chinese mythology and the “primordial and central chaos” in Chinese cosmogony, comparable with the world egg. <\/p> “unintelligible; chaotic; messy; mentally dense; innocent as a child” – “something confused and yet complete” (huncheng \u6df7\u6210) \u2026 which denotes the state prior to the formation of the world where nothing is perceptible, but which nevertheless contains a cosmic seed. Similarly, the state of hundun is likened to an egg; in this usage, the term alludes to a complete world round and closed in itself, which is a receptacle like a cavern (dong \u6d1e) or a gourd (hu \u58fa or hulu \u58fa\u76e7). (Robinet, Isabelle (2007). “Hundun \u6df7\u6c8c Chaos; inchoate state”. In Pregadio, Fabrizio (ed.). The Encyclopedia of Taoism. Routledge. pp. 524.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Heaven and earth were perfectly joined [tung-t’ung \u6d1e\u540c], all was chaotically unformed [hun-tun wei p’u \u6e3e\u6c8c\u70ba\u6a38]; and things were complete [ch’eng \u6210] yet not created. This is called [the time or condition] of the Great One. [t’ai-i \u592a\u4e00]. All came from this unity which gave to each thing its differences: the birds, fish, and beasts. (Girardot, Norman J. (1983). Myth and Meaning in Early Taoism: The Theme of Chaos (Hun-Tun). University of California Press.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n From a note i took on day 9, of how i awoke from complete absence.Saying “I awoke” is not correct, as in this state there is no “I” –you are not more yourself than you are slime, an egg, a pulsating bubble. and awoke in theprimordial way – where your body knows nothing aboutwhat it is,leg, arm, womb,just one pulsing…<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/necrodiaries.less.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/hundun1-1024x768.jpg\")
<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/necrodiaries.less.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/hundun2-1024x768.jpg\")
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